Husband Material: What Makes a Perfect Husband (According to Data)

A beautiful husband and wife
Qualities of a perfect husband


 What Makes a Perfect Husband (According to Data)

 

How do you know someone will make a perfect husband?

It’s a valid question – one that has multiple answers.

While traits like charisma and good looks can surely help a guy score a wife, these are not enough to ensure that he's a keeper.

 

Obviously, the qualities of a perfect husband are subjective and will depend on the type of person you're looking for.

That said, we've listed some qualities that you can treat as your guideline in your pursuit to find your ultimate pair.


 

Qualities of a Good Husband

Are you tired of always being with the wrong guy? You’re not alone.

If you’re serious about marrying the perfect husband, you should be strict with screening potential candidates in the first place. These qualities below can be your checklist in your quest to find the best husband for you.


A man making a woman smile.
A little laughter can brighten a relationship

He must be funny

Unsurprisingly, humor is heavily associated with having above-average intelligence. Laughter is the best medicine, and having a sense of humor is definitely a trait that you need in your husband. Someone who can make you laugh is the best type of husband you could ever have.

 

When you're with a funny guy, or at least someone with the same humor as you, you're bound to have a good time and experience high marital satisfaction.

A funny husband will make you feel good, while also making you feel more secure in your relationship. If you're ever having a bad day, he'll be able to turn your frown upside down instantly.

 

He must not be a narcissist

According to the Dunning-Kruger effect, people that have limited competence in a certain skill easily overestimate themselves.

Just like narcissistic people, they tend to have high levels of self-esteem but are still prone to shame and have an inflated sense of uniqueness and superiority.

 

Obviously, you wouldn't want to end up with someone who thinks they're better than everyone without having the skill to back it up, right?

 

Considering this, choose someone that is honest about his skills and knowledge. Your ideal spouse must be able to admit to his own shortcomings. This will show his level of humility and self-awareness.

They are fine with their own company

Studies show that the ability to be content with your own company is a better predictor of intelligence.

 

If you choose someone that is comfortable with his own company, you’re sure that he won't get into a relationship with you just to fill up his time.

He'll also be less likely to try to change you into someone that you're not because he'll be happy with the real you.


A man holding a woman securely
It's great to find a man that makes you feel safe and secure

He must be sensitive

You need someone who is sensitive and empathic, since these are the qualities that will make you feel safe, understood, and protected.

Sensitivity and empathy should be treated with utmost importance especially if your priority is to have a long and healthy marriage.

 

Your future husband needs to be in tune with your feelings and must be willing to make sacrifices in order to protect and keep you happy.

An empathetic man is a person that will constantly make you feel wanted and loved because he can anticipate your needs.

He will be able to comfort you when you need it, and he'll also be able to answer your questions honestly and with integrity.

 

Without empathy, the glue that will bind you two together will be impossible to sustain.

 

He must be ambitious

According to a Harvard study, healthy ambition has three dimensions – performance, growth, and achievement.

When you choose someone who is ambitious, it simply means that he actually wants to put in the work and will work hard to build a future for you both.

You and your perfect husband must have a vision for the future that you both want to attain. Aside from your goals as a couple, your husband must also have his own goals and ambitions that he wants to achieve.

 

Someone who is ambitious will not just limit his potential to sitting still and wasting it away. He'll be willing to work hard and put in extra hours just to make sure that you two will have food on the table.

 

He must not be violent

Around 1 in 3 women still experience some form of violence by their partner. However, remember that it's impossible to have a happy relationship when there is violence present in your relationship.

Your husband must not hurt you physically, emotionally, or verbally. This should be a non-negotiable quality.

 

Not only will a violent husband cause you pain, but he can also affect your children's future. Think about it: it’s better to be single than to end up with someone who is dangerous.

 

Remember that no relationship can last if you have to deal with a violent person. He will only bring you pain and suffering.

 

He must be supportive

Can you imagine ending up with someone who doesn't support you? What a nightmare that would be.

 

Your husband must be willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that your dreams and aspirations will be achieved.

 

While your husband should have his own goals and ambitions, he should also be willing to support you in achieving your own goals and desires.

He should let you follow your own passion and should give you moral support and encouragement whenever you need it.

 

Supportive husbands will always be there for you during hard times, and they'll always be there to encourage you to do better.

Not only that, one study has found that greater support in relationships is associated with less conflict and higher relationship satisfaction.

 

He must be a great communicator

Communication is a key aspect of a relationship. Without communication, it can become difficult to stay together.

If you're with someone who doesn't know how to talk to you, then he's definitely not the perfect husband for you.

 

This is why one of the many traits that you should look for in a husband is that he's a great communicator.

There are tons of things to cover when it comes to the principles of good communication skills, but as a general rule, he should be able to listen and hold a meaningful conversation. Most importantly, he should be speaking to you with respect.

 

One way to assess if someone is a good communicator is if he uses “I” statements, instead of “You” statements.

For example, instead of saying “you’re always late on our dates,” he may say “I get worried whenever you do not arrive on time for your dates.”

Using statements like this can ensure your conversations won’t turn accusatory.

 

He must be loyal

The best relationships are made between two partners who can trust each other completely.

Finding someone who is loyal can be difficult, but it's one of the main traits that you should look for in a husband.

Unfortunately, between 10% to 15% of married women, and between 20% to 25% of married men cheat.

 

If you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, then you should choose someone who will be loyal to you.

To build a future together, you need to choose someone that won't betray you in any way.

 

He must be mature

Did you know that men mature much later than women? 11 years later to be exact. As much as you can, look for someone who matches your level of maturity.

 

With maturity comes stability, which is definitely necessary for a relationship. A man who is mature knows what he wants and he knows what he needs in order to be happy.

 

Mature men do not jump from one relationship to another. When you're with someone who is mature, you're certain that he will never cheat on you or simply up and leave you without any reason.

 

Do You Think You've Found Your Perfect Husband?

If you think that you've found your perfect husband, then it's time to let him know. If not, then keep looking.

The qualities listed above should be your non-negotiables when looking for the perfect husband.

However, remember this:

 

Successful relationships are built between two people who are willing to learn, grow, and work together to overcome anything that comes their way.

When you're with someone who has the qualities listed above and is willing to give his all to make you happy, then you're in for a wonderful relationship.


Author: Sebastian Klein is the founder of RelationshipsAdvice.co. He loves writing insanely practical guides based on scientific studies to help couples and individuals create the relationship they want. After a tough breakup, he started studying relationship dynamics to help people get from the “What should I do?” to “How to do it.” If you want to get in touch with him, visit his blog. 


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